Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car.

The only thing he said was, "F.F."

His wife turned to him and answered, "E.F."

Out on the highway, he said, "F.F."

She responded simply, "E.F."

He repeated, "F.F."

She again replied, "E.F."

"Mom! Dad!" their son yelled. "What's going on?"

Bad Bernie answered, "Your mother wants to eat first!"

A brunette is roommates with a blonde. The brunette walks in one day and sees the blonde with a rope around her stomach, standing on a chair. The brunette asks 'What are you doing?' The blonde replies 'Trying to commit suicide.' THe brunette rolls her eyes and says 'Shouldn't the rope be around your neck?' The blonde sighs and says 'I tried that, but i couldn't breathe!'

A young American was enjoying his first night in Rome, drinking cappuccino at a pavement cafe when a pretty girl sat beside him.

"Hello," he said. " Do you understand English?"

"Only a little," she answered.

"How much?" he asked.

"Fifty dollars," she replied.

RockGirl wrote:

A young American was enjoying his first night in Rome, drinking cappuccino at a pavement cafe when a pretty girl sat beside him.

"Hello," he said. " Do you understand English?"

"Only a little," she answered.

"How much?" he asked.

"Fifty dollars," she replied.

LOL, .

Good one

Q: Why did God create alcohol?
A: So ugly people have a chance to have sex

http://ep.yimg.com/ca/I/yhst-9410972266 ... 08_1092886 <----- lololoolololololol

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is
probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

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