ROFL! Really great ones! Here's one more:

A Man At The Beach
One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach.

But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he doesn't care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case.

Soon comes a little girl that asks "Sir, what's under the newspaper?"

The man replies with "it's a birdy and never ever touch it."

He soon falls asleep.

Later on when he wakes up, he's in the hospital feeling immense pain around his private area. The doctors ask what happened and all he could remember was the girl at the beach.

Later on the cops arrive at her house asking what she had done. She said "well I was playing with the birdy but then it spit this white stuff at me. I got really mad. So I broke it's neck, stepped on it's eggs, and burned it's nest."

This thread is funny....

I can't remember any good jokes at the moment so;


The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

Hahaha, great one Nick!
I have another one, a bit lame maybe, but I like it.

It was the first day of a new school year.

Three boys arrive at class late and the teacher asks the first boy "Why are you tardy," the boy replies "I've been on Blueberry Hill" the teacher said "Take your seat."

She asks the next boy why he was late. "I was on Blueberry Hill also" he replied.

Then she asked the third boy, but he replied with the same answer.

As the boys we're sitting down a girl arrives in.

"Let me guess", said the teacher. "You where on Bluberry Hill aslo"

"NO.... I am Blueberry Hill" replied the girl.

Ghoku wrote:

Random jokes.

"An arab at the airport: \
- Name?
- Abdul Al Razhib.
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no, I mean male or female.
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, dog, even sheep.
- But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no, deer run to fast! "

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

A blonde, a smart blonde, the reaper and Santa are in an elevator. They spot a buck on the floor. Who picks it up?
-The blonde. The others don't exist.

Nick Shadow wrote:

This thread is funny....

I can't remember any good jokes at the moment so;


The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

LOOOOL Was just about to post this, damn you Nick.



Whats the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
Someone has claimed to see a UFO.

How do you fill a house with elderly?
Hang a sign saying "Bingo" above the door.

Two granny's were driving a tandem bike, the one on the back was doing a wheelie.

What do you get if you combine a turtle and a hedgehog?
a Lada on winter wheels.

What happens when a huge blue flying hippo is shot?
It becomes a huge red dropping hippo.

What animals have been hurt most by racism?
Pandas, they are white, black and Asian.

A blonde drove off the road. Why?
-She hit the turning lights (Or whatever the check they're called), and followed its direction.

You share nice joke.
"What is a Yankee?
The same as quickie, but a guy can't do it alone"