Funny thanks giving shit :p (must read)

by Jon™ · 12 posts
12 years ago in Off Topic

Posted 12 years ago · Author

Naughty Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving....

1. Talk about a huge breast!

2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.

3. It's Cool Whip time!

4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!

5. That's one terrific spread!

6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.

7. Are you ready for seconds yet?

8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9. Just wai...t your turn, you'll get some!

10. ...Don't play with your meat.

11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.

12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?

13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!

14. You still have a little bit on your chin.

15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up! Happy turkey day to all

Hope ya'll enjoyed

Posted 12 years ago

New rule, Jon is not allowed to touch the turkey without a condom on.

Posted 12 years ago

Don Von Free Credits wrote:
New rule, Jon is not allowed to touch the turkey without a condom on.

And this is why...

Code

<Jon making a turkey>

              All right.
              Now it's time for the turkey.
              Oh, what a beautiful bird.
              - No! - No, man!
              Hey! Hey! Hey, man.
              Why don't you just relax...
              and just let me do that for you?
              - Yeah. - Rest that little hand.
              It's my pleasure, but what a nice young man to offer.
              Let me give you a little pinch there.
              Come on.
              Fuck it!
              You know, a lot of people...
              are kind of intimidated...
              about making a turkey, but...
              really it's very simple.
              You just have to know the anatomy of a turkey...
              and it's got, over here...
              just the tiniest little stinkhole...
              but it's big enough to get your hand...
              right up inside it.
              Uh!
              Uh!
              Stuff the shit out of it.
              I cook it with all the giblets--
              the penises and the ginies...
              And now, a lot of people like to baste their turkeys...
              but I use this.
              I lick like that...
              and get into the little...
              hiney... hiney ho...
              That's nice and good.
              I don't know what the hell that is...
              but I'll lick it anyway.
              Up and down...
              and then I like to get that right on there...
              Hiawatha!
              And I got one of these.
              I'm gonna pull that off...
              and bam! That just kicks it up a little bit.
              All right. I think that's almost...
              ready now.
              And then we bring it to the table.
              Mmm, good.
              All right.
              Who's ready for a wing?