There was a murder in Texas at Halloween, and the FBI were called in to investigate. Hitchcock, one of the officers, saw something written in blood on the wall. It

looked like the number '7734', but he was not sure; anyway, he took lots of pictures.

When Hitchcock got back to the lab he developed the film of the crime scene, but he still could not make any progress with the number. In the hope of inspiration, he

took the sheaf of photographs home and spread them on the dining room table. Just at that moment his 7 year old daughter Emma came in through the patio door

opposite, and looked down at the photographs.

'Why have you photographed hell?', she asked, then Hitchcock saw that when held upside down, 7734 spelt: 'hELL'

Self explanatory. Post your jokes here.

Here you go...an Adult Joke!

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

This is a joke I heard someplace and it made me laugh so here:

A young kid is at summer camp.

One night he decides to go to the tent of one of his female counselors since he had trouble sleeping.

She allowed him inside and rolled out a sleeping bag for him to sleep on.

As they were falling asleep the boy had an idea.

Being that he was young, curious, and outright weird he asked to touch her belly button.

The counselor said sure as he seemed to be acting simply out of curiosity.

But then she jumped...

"That's not my belly button!"

"That's not my finger."

lmao XD

I'll post a short one:

Q: What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A: a rip off

There's a cucumber, carrot, and penis. They are all sitting around BSing and telling horror stories.

The cucumber looks to the two and says, "Well humans cut me up and put me in salads to eat."

The carrot scoffs and said, "Well they cut me up and boil me in soups so they can eat."

The penis starts to cry and the other two look at him and the penis says, " Th...th..they put a plastic bag tightly over my head, bang my head against a wall until I puke."

MizzKitty wrote:

There's a cucumber, carrot, and penis. They are all sitting around BSing and telling horror stories.The cucumber looks to the two and says, "Well humans cut me up and put me in salads to eat."The carrot scoffs and said, "Well they cut me up and boil me in soups so they can eat."The penis starts to cry and the other two look at him and the penis says, " Th...th..they put a plastic bag tightly over my head, bang my head against a wall until I puke."

OML....ROFL!!!!






An elderly couple are in church. The wife leans over and whispers to her husband, "I just let out a long, silent fart. What should I do?" The husband replies, "First off, replace the batteries in your hearing aid!"

A guy goes to have a shower in the bathroom with his Head and shoulders shampoo.......his son observes him rubbing his shoulders with the shampoo..and asks him why he's rubbing his shoulders with the shampoo...then the guy in shower say his son that he is a fool....look what is written on the shampoo...for head and shoulders... ...His nephew......

1. What do you call a fat psychic?
A. A four-chin teller.
2. (Stole this one from OITNB)
A man meets with his doctor, and the doctor says " I have two bad news for you "
The man asks; "What's the first?"
The doctor replies "You have cancer"
The man is in shock, but then he asks "What's the second bad news?"
The doctor says "You have Alzheimer"
The patient sighs in relief and says;
"At least I don't have cancer."
3. I have a body of a 26 year old, but it's in my refrigerator.
4. Why is the chicken crossing the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"