It's a memory of a fantasy of living life for the first time.
It's something that burns in me, something I can't see
because it's all in my mind.
And it's really quite simple, but it's really not simple at all.
Immune to all this pain, yet it's the reason I fall.
I'm losing friends, left and right and then
on the left again, I'm still losing friends.
How can I love them when I can't love myself?
Forgetting everything I've been.
I'm tearing through a life that I don't want to lead,
just to see this God-forsaken life is tearing through me.
I can't remember when I felt a little bit of love hold my hand
and if I seen it I would never believe it.
I'm all alone again, love is a lie that I don't want to pretend
I feel so lonely and I'll never believe in it.
All alone in my loneliness.
My angry and broken heart is so full of words that I forget to say.
So I give back my hate to all the one's that talk about the God
that they love so much, but they don't ever portray.
The churches doors open unless you're searching for God…
but God is only found behind the doors of a searching heart.
It's so hard to make myself believe that someone cares,
and all this suffering that breaks me up again… life is so unfair.
And I believe this lie, that I'm gonna be alright, it's all in my head.
This hate inside of me is now what's blinding me to the blood that I bled.
And days will come when I only want to die to kill this pain.
I search my heart for love but I can't find enough for me to feel anything.