Posted 14 years ago
chuck norris can count to infinty twice
Chuck Norris Facts
Posted 11 years ago
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Average: 4.7 (7489 votes)
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Cancel rating
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris made a volcano for a science fair, after he won he threw it into the Pacific and made Hawaii.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris special orders his pencils without erasers because Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass he dares it to grow
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
When Chuck Norris sends you a poke on Facebook it kills you.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless telephone
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.
Chuck Norris is the only man that knows how to delete the Recycle Bin .
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck Norris doesn't jump he stares at gravity and it changes direction.
A state trooper pulled Chuck Norris over the other day. Being a man who respects the law, Chuck let him off with a warning.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Bieber's ass.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Average: 4.7 (7489 votes)
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Cancel rating
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris made a volcano for a science fair, after he won he threw it into the Pacific and made Hawaii.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris special orders his pencils without erasers because Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't cut his grass he dares it to grow
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
When Chuck Norris sends you a poke on Facebook it kills you.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless telephone
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies............... As The Force.
Chuck Norris is the only man that knows how to delete the Recycle Bin .
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
Chuck Norris doesn't jump he stares at gravity and it changes direction.
A state trooper pulled Chuck Norris over the other day. Being a man who respects the law, Chuck let him off with a warning.