1. Yo momma's so fat that her belly arrives at her house half an hour before her.
2. Yo momma's so fat, Donald Trump placed her as a border wall.
3. Yo momma's so fat; she can only take a selfie in panorama mode.
4. Yo momma's so fat that this morning she woke up on both sides of the bed.
5. Yo momma's so fat; when she skips breakfast, the stock market crashes.
6. Yo momma's so ugly; she was disqualified from an ugly contest because they said professionals weren't allowed to participate.
7. Yo momma is so ugly; when Santa saw her, as he came down the chimney, he said "ho, ho, holly sh*t."
8. Yo momma's so ugly that the ninja turtles have to hide in the sewers just so they don't have to look at her face.
9. Yo momma's so ugly; she once scared a blind kid.
10. Yo momma's so ugly; she posted a picture online and it was censored immediately.