Real Sex vs Porn Sex

Kari Wolf
by Kari Wolf · 9 posts
7 years ago in AP Lounge
Posted 7 years ago · Author
What Does Real Sex Look Like?
Monday, September 17, 2012, by Jessica Sager


There’s so much porn on this planet that it sort of sets a really weird standard for what real sex should look like. But guess what? Real sex looks almost nothing like that: Most of us don’t have 24/7/365 airbrush tans, most of us don’t orgasm at the same time as our partners, most of us are a little awkward and messy, and most of us don’t bang our pizza delivery men. (And if you do, I’m just ordering from all the wrong parlors.)

It’s become one woman’s mission to make sure people learn and accept that real sex is to porn, essentially, as real life is to the movies: Movies and porn are fantasy versions of something real and generally, on the surface, less attractive.

Cindy Gallop would be considered a cougar, and she’s got a decent dose of sexual experience under her fierce and fashionable belt–and she got annoyed that a lot of the real sex she was having with guys seemed almost entirely based on what guys had seen in porn–because guess what? Most women don’t enjoy that in real life, since we need more time (and usually more foreplay) to get us going than the typical wham, bam, thank you ma’am that porn presents. Real sex doesn’t work like that! As she put it, having such easy access to porn teaches guys (and girls!) “that what you see in hard-core pornography is the way that you have sex.” And it’s not.

As a result, Cindy wanted to teach people how real sex looks and works–there are no lighting tricks, no cheesy music, and few to no references to pepperoni, sausage, or “hot ‘n’ ready.” She launched her own website, MakeLoveNotPorn.com, to explain the difference between scripted sex and real sex–and she upped the ante when she launched its companion site, MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, to show the differences between porn and real sex.

On MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, users can pay a fee to upload and/or view videos that real couples submitted of themselves having real sex. Spoiler alert: Real sex looks a lot different, a lot less plastic, and, believe it or not, a lot more fun–people are allowed to talk, giggle, and even make out, because they don’t have directors telling them what to do and when to do it, and there aren’t any fancy editing tricks to show a time lapse or take out uncomfortable or silly moments.

That isn’t to say porn is a bad thing. Think of it like video games: They’re fun to play, but in real life, we can’t solve our problems with hadoukens or buying special armor and casting spells. Similarly, most of us can’t orgasm on command (hell, a lot of us have a hard time with orgasms in general) or get intimate with people we barely know. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t play video games or watch porn–we just need to understand that real life and real sex are a lot different from what comes out of a glowing screen with the push of a button. And if the only sex guys know of comes from porn, they won’t know the right buttons to push during real sex.
Posted 7 years ago
Kari Wolf wrote:
What Does Real Sex Look Like?
Monday, September 17, 2012, by Jessica SagerThere’s so much porn on this planet that it sort of sets a really weird standard for what real sex should look like. But guess what? Real sex looks almost nothing like that: Most of us don’t have 24/7/365 airbrush tans, most of us don’t orgasm at the same time as our partners, most of us are a little awkward and messy, and most of us don’t bang our pizza delivery men. (And if you do, I’m just ordering from all the wrong parlors.)It’s become one woman’s mission to make sure people learn and accept that real sex is to porn, essentially, as real life is to the movies: Movies and porn are fantasy versions of something real and generally, on the surface, less attractive.Cindy Gallop would be considered a cougar, and she’s got a decent dose of sexual experience under her fierce and fashionable belt–and she got annoyed that a lot of the real sex she was having with guys seemed almost entirely based on what guys had seen in porn–because guess what? Most women don’t enjoy that in real life, since we need more time (and usually more foreplay) to get us going than the typical wham, bam, thank you ma’am that porn presents. Real sex doesn’t work like that! As she put it, having such easy access to porn teaches guys (and girls!) “that what you see in hard-core pornography is the way that you have sex.” And it’s not.As a result, Cindy wanted to teach people how real sex looks and works–there are no lighting tricks, no cheesy music, and few to no references to pepperoni, sausage, or “hot ‘n’ ready.” She launched her own website, MakeLoveNotPorn.com, to explain the difference between scripted sex and real sex–and she upped the ante when she launched its companion site, MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, to show the differences between porn and real sex.On MakeLoveNotPorn.tv, users can pay a fee to upload and/or view videos that real couples submitted of themselves having real sex. Spoiler alert: Real sex looks a lot different, a lot less plastic, and, believe it or not, a lot more fun–people are allowed to talk, giggle, and even make out, because they don’t have directors telling them what to do and when to do it, and there aren’t any fancy editing tricks to show a time lapse or take out uncomfortable or silly moments.That isn’t to say porn is a bad thing. Think of it like video games: They’re fun to play, but in real life, we can’t solve our problems with hadoukens or buying special armor and casting spells. Similarly, most of us can’t orgasm on command (hell, a lot of us have a hard time with orgasms in general) or get intimate with people we barely know. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t play video games or watch porn–we just need to understand that real life and real sex are a lot different from what comes out of a glowing screen with the push of a button. And if the only sex guys know of comes from porn, they won’t know the right buttons to push during real sex.



@Kari Wolf
Aint that the truth. I couldnt agree with you more.. Feel like i just read the bible! :katheart4: :katheart4: :katheart4:
Posted 7 years ago
Sex is different on many levels, no sex is the same sex, and no one is perfect. He/she can be drop dead sexy and make love horribly.

Making love in the normal world is when two people get together unexpectedly, due to their likes and or dislikes and they obtain a chemistry. The attraction to each other is not even body wise, its a connection of the mind and only the mind. Once that connection is made everything else falls into place like magic. Its how you get the couples like the star quarterback that dates the nerdy girl with glasses. They just click. :fireworks: Thats what a real making love connection is. What you see in most porn, is just sex and only sex, and anyone can fuck.

Real love making tends to be beautiful because of the passion behind it, the people aren't acting, they are acting out their real wants and desires for the person they are making love to. Passion turns having sex into this amazing, dreamy, making love session.

On orgasms, porn is a lie, every guy is not gonna shoot thick white gobs of cum, and every girl is not gonna squirt all over the place. Many females don't even know how to have an orgasm. And most guys don't last hours and hours and hours....personally I think hours and hours of sex is just plain boring lol.

I think most people want people that are fully attractive to them, but they fail to realize that having everything to their liking is unrealistic. Its unrealistic because you can't have everything you want, you find someone thats close and accept the rest of them. The perfect person they want to have sex with generally doesn't even want them, cuz thats how the world works. To be honest the whole body image thing is bullshit. Those that have perfect bodies are prolly out of your league or too high maintenance lol. :panda6:
Posted 7 years ago · Author
NekaLion wrote:
Sex is different on many levels, no sex is the same sex, and no one is perfect. He/she can be drop dead sexy and make love horribly.Making love in the normal world is when two people get together unexpectedly, due to their likes and or dislikes and they obtain a chemistry. The attraction to each other is not even body wise, its a connection of the mind and only the mind. Once that connection is made everything else falls into place like magic. Its how you get the couples like the star quarterback that dates the nerdy girl with glasses. They just click. Thats what a real making love connection is. What you see in most porn, is just sex and only sex, and anyone can fuck.Real love making tends to be beautiful because of the passion behind it, the people aren't acting, they are acting out their real wants and desires for the person they are making love to. Passion turns having sex into this amazing, dreamy, making love session.On orgasms, porn is a lie, every guy is not gonna shoot thick white gobs of cum, and every girl is not gonna squirt all over the place. Many females don't even know how to have an orgasm. And most guys don't last hours and hours and hours....personally I think hours and hours of sex is just plain boring lol.I think most people want people that are fully attractive to them, but they fail to realize that having everything to their liking is unrealistic. Its unrealistic because you can't have everything you want, you find someone thats close and accept the rest of them. The perfect person they want to have sex with generally doesn't even want them, cuz thats how the world works. To be honest the whole body image thing is bullshit. Those that have perfect bodies are prolly out of your league or too high maintenance lol.


NekaLion, what you say is so DAMN true!! :rockout:
Posted 7 years ago
Making love for me typically involves 20 - 30 minutes of foreplay followed by 1 - 4 hours of banging. There is music during the foreplay because I like a rhythm to swing my paddles and whips to. Sex is normally interrupted by 2 - 3 water breaks which last 2 - 5 minutes each; you don't see that in porn. Also as mentioned, there is a lot more mess than there is in porn. I have to put a water proof camping blanket on the bed before we start, kind of looks like a blue tarp. You don't see that in porn. There are lots of orgasms from her, but no money shot at the end. There is no way my aim is good enough to cum on her face ... money shot only happened once, not every time like in porn. That's if I do go off. Old Don does not cum every time anymore ... dick muscles start to give out after a few hours.

That's me after years of regular sex and several casual partners between long term partners. During my first year after loosing my virginity, sex only lasted 10 - 30 minutes, everything was awkward and clumsy and unsure, foreplay was more like trial and error exploration, and I would make some of the stupidest mistakes during sex. The worst was the time that I thrusted too hard on the bed in the direction away from the wall. The mattress slid off the bed and we both went tumbling into a bookcase which fell on top of us ... trapping us coupled together under a mountain of bookcase and books. I could probably write a book about all horrible predicaments I got myself and my first partner into. Hell, there was that time I got my dick stuck inside of a penis pump, the time I lost the keys to a spreader bar, and the horrible knife dildo incident that covered my bathroom in blood.
Posted 7 years ago · Author
OH wow Don, never had the accidents like you had! You should write a book, bet it would be a best seller too! I for one would definately read it! LOL The spreader bar and knife dildo incident really have me curious! :hehe:
Posted 7 years ago
Kari Wolf wrote:
OH wow Don, never had the accidents like you had!You should write a book, bet it would be a best seller too!I for one would definately read it!LOLThe spreader bar and knife dildo incident really have me curious!


lol i would be the first to buy the book but i also want it signed
Posted 6 years ago
Either is good for me. Real Sex would work great I love to have lol. Porn Sex only if I'm part of making it winks.

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