gimme some tissues, i cums on my keyboard

Dang Man are you my appendix because I don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

You turn my soft drive into a hard drive

-- Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:17 pm --

2: Is there a mirror in your pants? I think I can see myself into there.
3: I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin-me.
4: I’ve been reading a book of numbers and I realised I don’t have yours.
5: Are your pants on sale? Because they’re 100% off at my place.

haha XD

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.

Do you work at Starbucks? Because I like you a latte.

If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.

Are you African? Because you're a frican babe.

Excuse me, is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!

I'm not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.

Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.

Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.

Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got some nice buns!

I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

Do you play soccer? Because you're a keeper!

Did you invent the airplane? Cause you seem Wright for me.

If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.

"I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U..."

Know what would look good on you? CRUTCHES

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

You look much more attractive in person than you do through my telescope. Do you like heavy metal? Because I can teach you how to scream.

Want to have sex? (person seys\'no\') *You look disappointed* oh....ok. *look up and say excitedly*...RAPE IT IS!

After dinner I want you for desert because I know you are sweet enough to eat

smykey wrote:

Here's a few lol
1. Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it isn’t floppy.
2. Can I follow you home? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
3.My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Want to buy some drinks with their money?
4. Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
5. My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
6. If I was a fly, I’d land on you first. Because you’re the shit.
lol those are some of my favorites. Hope you like.

Lol at the first one, loved it.


Here is some of my favs.


1.I've got all these forks and knives all I need is a little spoon.

Con: You've always got to carry around cutlery. Pro: You've always got cutlery.


2..I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're making the other girls look bad.

3. Girl I put the STD in stud, all I need is u.

4. I'm no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.

5. Hey, is that guy bothering you? No? Would you mind if I bothered you then?

6. Stare at her vaginal area until she notices/says something.

Then, look her dead in the eyes and simply ask, "Are you gonna eat that?"




That's all I remember for now

Are you a shark? Because I have some swimmers for you to swallow

Most of the times i just say Hai 9 out of 10 end up later in my bed.